Of Cherry Blossoms
by damienriddle
Summary: Story set during episode 16. Alternate take. What if Shinji took a different path? Character Death. Sequel to Of Insightful Dreams.


**Of Cherry Blossoms**

**Summary : **_Story set during episode 16. Alternate take. What if Shinji took a different path? Sequel to Of Insightful Dreams._

**Disclaimer : **_Neon Genesis Evangelion belonged to Hideaki Anno and Gainax._

**A/N : **_Please read the prequel, Of Insightful Dreams or the story might get a little confusing._

Shinji Ikari was an idiot, weakling and spineless wimp. Being constantly berated by, he couldn't miss it. She had been furious when he topped her sync results. He wondered if it was really his fault? They had all knew it would happen, he would surpass her one day. Hasn't he proved so much? Shinji knew. He knew Asuka hated him because he was spineless, he doesn't stand up for himself.

Did she knew why? Did she knew of the many times he tried, and each time it was squashed ruthlessly? Each attempt was a spectacular failure? Every single time he offered his hand to someone, he was hurt? Rejection was something he could accept. Betrayal was not. He loathed it. Loathed being betrayed. He had tasted it too many times that it left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.

There was once a cherry blossom tree in the neighborhood where he lived. It had never bloomed. The branches lay bare each year. The owner said that the Second Impact had seen to that. The tree would never bloom. However, the owner had shown Shinji a photo of the cherry blossom tree before Second Impact. The lovely pink petals looked romantic and dreamy. Shinji thought it was the most beautiful image he had seen, and mourned for the loss of cherry blossoms.

He was snapped from his daydream by a shrill screech.

"Baka Shinji! What are you doing daydreaming? Thinking of how the Perfect Shinji higher scores than the Mighty Asuka? And you are probably bragging to the two Stooges! And thinking perverted thoughts! Baka!" Asuka screeched.

Shinji turned towards her mournfully. Did she know that she sounded like a fish monger harping her wares? Couldn't she let him think of the past in peace? She was so unlike the First Child, who was quiet and meek. Even if Rei didn't have much of a personality, she was quiet. Not loud. Not screeching. Not abusive. He wondered if it was karma? And if so, what possible act of wanton destruction did he commit in a previous life that could possibly result this?

Asuka continued screeching, pausing for a moment to realize the Third Child had stopped paying attention and was now gazing pass her. It only infuriated her. How dare that spineless wimp ignore her? Her, the great mighty Asuka Soryu Langley? The idol of everyone, the Second Child, pilot of Evangelion Unit 02? How dare he? It made her raise a couple more decibels, and shaking the Third Child.

Later, after releasing himself from the iron grasp of an irritated Second Child, Shinji took off rather hastily. No need to put himself in more harm than necessary. Instead of going home, he went for a walk. His feet took him further and further from town, from home an Nerv. He walked on. And somewhere in the outskirt of Tokyo Three, he found a treasure.

He found a cherry blossom tree.

It didn't have the pale pink flowers he longed to see, but it was a cherry blossom tree. It was rather bare, and weak, looking like it would wilt and die soon. Like himself, Shinji thought, weak and dying. Soon, he, like the tree, would wilt and die. Whether he would die in battle, killed in an angel attack or by Asuka in a fiery rage or some other causes was unknown. He only knew it would be soon. A hunch. He hoped he could see the cherry blossom bloom before it died. Before he died. Whichever came first.

"It won't bloom. It's going to wilt away this summer," agent Kaji Ryouji said. "Grew enough things to know. It's dead."

Shinji spun around and cocked his head to one side as he regarded Misato's ex-boyfriend. Lover, whatever. He knew he was being followed, he was the Third Child and he wouldn't be unguarded, but he didn't know it was Kaji.

"Hello, Kaji-san. Do you always follow me around?" Shinji enquired, politely. He almost was never rude, afraid of being rebuked, and polite children was better liked. In most cases, except his own. He was always an exceptional. Always.

"Heh. It's nicer following you around than that German spitfire. Why are you here? You liked cherry blossoms?" Kaji asked.

"They are beautiful, aren't they, Kaji-san? When they bloom?" A hopeful look that Kaji could not refuse.

"Yes. Before Second Impact, every spring I would go and view them with family," Kaji grinned. "Misato probably have photos of cherry blossoms. She likes them."

"I want to see it bloom. Once. Just once would be enough. I would give my life to see them bloom," Shinji smiled bitterly. "I wonder if I could ever see it?"

"Oi. Stop being so pessimistic," a gentle rebuke from Kaji. A wry smile. "I'm sure it would bloom, perhaps in the future. You just have to wait. Not this one, though"

Shinji smiled. "Thank you, Kaji-san. I understand now." Putting a hand on the cherry blossom tree, he whispered, "Please, be strong. I know you can bloom, definitely. And your flowers would surely be the most beautiful. So, please, unfurl those seedlings you hide, and let your flowers bloom." To Kaji, he said, "Let's go back. I need to cook dinner for Misato-san and Asuka. Will you join us for dinner?" Kaji nodded.

As they leave, Shinji turned back and looked at the cherry blossoms. He smiled. "I know what I have to do now. I won't fail. Definitely."

It was a feast. Shinji cooked a complete feast for dinner. Misato asked him why. He smiled secretly and just commented he felt like it. He cooked everyone's favorite food, and there was a variety of food on the table. He didn't complain about Misato's drinking habits, or Kaji-san flirting with Misato-san, or Asuka alternating between trying to get Kaji-san's attention and screeching at him. He looked on with a bemused gaze.

The angel Leliel was spotted early in the morning. The zebra-stripped ball floated, making no attempts to attack. The Children were called to sortie. Shinji seems acceptant, and he did not complain or react when Asuka goaded him, or when Misato called him to attack Leliel.

"Misato-san." The intercom linking the Evangelion and Nerv command center crackled alive. "I had a dream a few nights ago," Shinji continued. "A very weird dream. I dreamt that the world has ended. That Seele and UN attacked us, and attempted to jump-start Third Impact. That they wanted to start the Human Instrumentality Project."

"Shinji! Stop your nonsense and attack the angel!" Misato barked, angry at his ineffectiveness to sortie the angel. "Asuka, take the attack! Shinji, backup Asuka!"

"Misato-san. It's ok. I just wanted to tell you…." Shinji started.

"Shinji. Look, there's an angel. Keep the chit chats and bonding AFTER the angel is dead. Do you sortie, Pilot?" Misato interrupted.

"…..that I made up my mind. In fact, you just helped me make up my mind again." And with that, Shinji Ikari pulled out his progressive knife and charged. In the screen, Unit 01 head towards Leliel in a full run. When it reached the angel, the grounds turned black and begun absorbing the Unit 01. Misato's angry glare at the screen turned worried. The Unit 01 continued sinking, with no attempts to free itself.

"SHINJI! Shinji! Fight it! Get away! Retreat!" Shouts and commands to the pilot invoke no response, no fight.

"Ne, Misato-san. Please tell Kaji-san that I believe it will bloom. Definitely. And it would be magnificent. Arigatou, Misato-san. Sayonara." The link went dead. Screams tore through the command center as Misato raged.

"Are you going away with Leliel? This is….unacceptable." Ayanami Rei's head was bowed, hiding her eyes.

"What are you talking about, wonderdoll? The angel is still there!" Asuka yelled.

"He said sayonara." Rei clarified. "He's never coming back. He told me I should never say sayonara before a battle. It would sound like I would never come back. Doesn't saying sayonara during a battle mean the same thing? Doesn't that would mean he would never come back?"

Misato screamed. Not in rage anymore, in desperation and in grief. Unit 01 remain unresponsive. The last log recorded was sayonara. Goodbye. It sounded too much like a suicide mission, like some suicidal kamikaze move that Shinji just planned to pull through. Without assistance.

"SHINJI!" Misato screamed.

Inside the angel, Shinji smiled. He settled back for a long nap. One he would not wake from. It was a pity. He never saw the cherry blossoms bloom before he died. But that was an acceptable sacrifice. He would not let Unit 01 achieve Godhood, gain the S2 Engine that would make it a God.

Asuka would be glad he was gone. She always said he didn't deserve living, didn't deserve being a pilot, didn't deserve being a man. She would be happy he was gone. She can now be the elite pilot, uncontested, highest sync scorer, and the list goes on. Shinji would be free too. He liked peace and quiet, and Asuka would never be that. He could finally rest, away from her words of scorns and malice and abuse. It would be a bit lonely, but wasn't it how it was in the past?

Misato-san would survive. She was a survivor. Sure, her house would be back a mess, and no one would cook her breakfast and dinner, but she'll live. She'll stay alive. Kaji-san would help her heal. In her most vulnerable state, surely Kaji-san can penetrate her shields. And convince her he cared. Shinji knew Kaji-san cared, he still loved Misato a lot, and he would make her happy if Misato took him back.

Rei, Ayanami Rei, First Child. No matter what happen, it would never faze Rei. Rei probably would dismiss his existence. Only his father was worthy in her eyes. So, it shouldn't matter at all. He would disappear from her memory bank, and all was well in the world. For Ayanami Rei. Shinji hoped his father saw what a good girl Rei was. She would have been the perfect daughter for Ikari Gendo and Yui. Not Shinji, never Shinji.

The batteries drained faster than he remembered. His vision was getting darker. The LCL was badly contaminated now, no longer pure. Breathing was hard.

There does the last flicker of light. Waiting for his death in the lonely cold cockpit sparked a memory in him about cherry blossoms. Cherry blossoms are a metaphor for the ephemeral nature of life. It's for things that exist only briefly. Like Shinji. Then it would be gone, and only the memory of it's beauty exist.

But no one would remember Shinji. No one would. Maybe briefly, like a side note, then he would be gone, lost from his memories. It's okay. It was acceptable. Once he was gone, no one would be able to pilot Unit 01, pilot the Evangelion with his mother's soul. It would destroy Ikari Gendo's plan to see Yui again. Seele's plan would be set back years.

It was selfish to leave now, Shinji knew. But he knew that even if Tokyo Three was gone, the Evangelions gone, the humans would survive. They always had. They would find a way. He wasn't an ideal savior. All he did was destroy humanity. No, he would let humanity choose their own path. Choose another hero. Not him, please, not him.

And then Shinji Ikari saw. Saw the cherry blossoms tree blooming. He knew it was not a false vision, and it was truly blooming. It was magnificent. He smiled and reached out for it. He knew now, even if the humans disappear, Earth would not. Earth would heal, and it would survive. It survived Second Impact, and it would survive the Third Impact. It doesn't matter if humans exist upon it thousands years later, even if it was burned to ash, Shinji knew, with the same clarity that the sun would rise and set, that Earth would heal. And regain its vigor, it's beauty.

He smiled and let go of his last conscious thought. He thought he heard a thin keening wail. An illusion, he thought, as darkness completely swallowed all his conscious thoughts.

The Evangelion woke up. And hell arrived on Earth.

The angel warped, and blood begun to pour from it's body. The Evangelion burst out, ripping itself from Leliel by tearing apart Leliel. Blood ran as deep as rivers, and the scene looked demonic. The Evangelion was feral and torn with bloodlust. The conscious mind holding it, Yui, broken with grief, could exert no control. Desired not to control the beast, to hold it back. But the Evangelion grief too, for Yui's sorrow was it's own sorrow, and it liked it's pilot. It would accept no other. Not it, not Yui. Only Shinji Ikari. And he was gone. They were useless now, having failed to protect their most precious.

On the day he was to be buried, Kaji brought an armful of cherry blossoms. "They bloomed, Shinji. They bloomed while you were trapped in the Angel. They were magnificent. Look, they bloomed for you, and now they fell for you!" And he scattered the blossoms all over Shinji's casket, over the body of the Third Child that wore, for the first time, a peaceful smile.

True to Shinji's thoughts, the Earth did heal. And humans did succeed in protecting themselves. In Shinji's room, Kaji found volumes of data on Seele, on Nerv. All of Nerv and Seele's dirty laundry was aired out. The UN took charge immediately. They verified the data, which could no longer be hidden or buried, and disbanded both Nerv and Seele. Commander Ikari and Sub-commander Fuyukutsu were arrested, as was the thirteen council of Seele. UN could be very effective at the threat when they wanted to. All the angels were successfully defeated with the data Shinji provided. The Third Impact was averted. The world lived on.

It was hard to adjust at first, but everyone did. Misato eventually married Kaji, since he did his best to discredit Seele and Nerv. He helped UN against the angels. Asuka, Rei and Toji fought to their best, and with the cooperation of UN, and all Shinji's data, they took out the angels. They did not survive unscathed. Asuka lost an eye. Toji lost an arm and leg. Rei lost her ability to reproduce and received horrible scars on her belly. Her S2 organ was lost, when Tabris ran a long spear into her stomach, it hit her S2 organ and shattered it. As a result, she became human.

But the world survived, a bit damaged, but it survived and healed. The cherry blossoms came back when Shinji died, and a year after all the angels were gone, the snow came back. The tiny flakes of ice first fell in Tokyo Three, and a thick layer covered Shinji's grave as if to hide a great treasure. Earth was healing. And it would heal and move on. Definitely.

End.

**A/N : **_Just to clarify some info. Evangelion Unit 01 would never allow anyone but Shinji to pilot. With Evangelion Unit 01 no longer functioning, Ikari Gendo would have been unable to use it to get his wife back. According to Dead Sea Scroll, certain requirements are needed for the Human Instrumentality Project. It is very unclear but Rei, Unit 01, Adam and Lilith are part of the necessary requirements. In short, without Unit 01, SEELE couldn't achieve Instrumentality. I hope this clears things up for anyone who is confused. After reading, please Review. Thanks._


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